Who can think it could be easy!
Creation of love was certainly for attracting blindly two people, not to see and care about their differences...
Then, come kids to commit to the reality of being parents...
Then, being again together without kids to see the truth of the differences...
What is similar is not important because we do not realize it, like when we are healthy and we do not know about it UNTIL we get sick and we realize that we used to be healthy!!! Somehow the same for being happy for some people!
It is extremely hard to see the way someone else sees the situations because if you see it differently, then, how you can see the other way!!!
This is what I recently found to say to Bahram when he was insisting about something that I had said and he had understood it the opposit of what I meant!!!
<OK, take it this way: you and I were alone when this happened. I know what I said and what I meant but you understood completely the opposit. There is no one else than both of us who can judge but as you seem having understood the way you did which is completely the opposit of what I said and meant. This happens quite often because you think you know what I am going to say or to do. Well, here my suggestion:
1. Empty our mind (e.g. If we already have an idea about how our partner would act or say in a situation, then, we might not even listen to our partner because we already think knowing what she or he might do or think. So, give a chance that she or he different this time!!!
2. In any relationship: imagine you have 2 hours to play tennis with the only partner you could find to play with. If you feel you are sharp and want to win and start to send sharp and strong balls and make the partner run all the time for proving you are the best and the winner, then, sorry you are not playing with yourself and that partner will not play any more with you!
What to do? Be patient. Start passing easy balls, try to feel, understand and get to the rythm of your partner.
Long ago when we were learning how to play tennis, our instructor always pushed us to practice passing the easy ball at the beginning. The purpose was to keep the longest possible the ball in the and not leting the ball to be missed. It was not the question of competition but passing as long as possible the ball and it concerned both of us.
I said to Bahram, try to see it this way: whenever you start a conversation with me, try to start easy and let me feel it is a pleasant tennis game and not question of showing me how you strong you can smash the ball in order to show how strong you are! While, if slow down and do what our instructor used to push us to do, we will enjoy passing the ball and we can accelerate it we can and do a real match if we want and you may win and it will be OK because for me a correct game is more important than being a winner!!!
Good luck with all of us and wishing us patience and more commitment as love has always been here!
Shahrzad 20 OCT 2014
